“After a brief conversation, Hahn allegedly stepped toward the officer, grabbed the officer’s genitals through his clothing and said, ‘Are we doing this?’”
— Illicit sex creating concerns for Saco police, Portland Press Herald. May 8, 2013
A collection of news stories about occurrences that feel as though they could only be possible in Maine.
(And other related ephemera.)
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“Illicit sex creating concerns for Saco police”
— Actual headline from Portland Press Herald, May 8, 2013
“‘I’ve been a cop for 23 years,’ Lt. Hutcheson said. ‘I’ve never heard of a Ghostbuster and a Stormtrooper getting assaulted.’”
— Don’t worry, guys: This made Gawker because how could it not?
“Police: Man arrested after allegedly assaulting Stormtrooper, Ghostbuster during Free Comic Book Day”
—
Actual headline from Bangor Daily News, May 4, 2013
Also:
“Bobby Daggett of Portland, dressed as Green Lantern, said he witnessed the first assault.”
“Moose jumps over guardrail, falls to death on I-95 below Moose jumps over guardrail, falls to death on I-95 below”
—
Actual headline from Bangor Daily News, May 12, 2009
“[The Assistant Town Clerk] said the driver, who was under the bridge when he spotted the falling moose, was ‘pretty excited about it.’”
“Collecting postcards brings couple together”
— Actual headline from Bangor Daily News, December 24, 1991
“I’ll tell you, I’m relieved. I love animals and I just couldn’t stand the thought of those kittens dying under there.”
— Postal employees rescue kittens from loading dock, Bangor Daily News. December 23, 1991
“Over the weekend, firefighters and the Maine Forest Service were called to a fire in Livermore Falls where the property owner told forest rangers he set a test fire to check how things would burn.”
—
Maine Warden Service warns of high fire danger, AP. April 29, 2013.
Submitted by Amy Bradstreet
“Local police have charged a Madawaska man named Mike Daigle with aggravated assault and another male, also named Mike Daigle, but of Fort Kent, is recovering from a stabbing incident that occurred in the early hours of Saturday, September 17.”
—
Mike Daigle Stabs Mike Daigle, Fiddlehead Focus. September 19, 2011.
[Submission by Erin Dow]
“A Route 46 resident reported the theft of a gas grill, a box of lesbian pornography, yarn and a canoe paddle from her garage June 9. The woman later found the grill, which had been misplaced.”
—
Bucksport Police Blotter, Fenceviewer. June 22, 2009.
[Submission by Chris Mann]
